I'm tired of my Instagram addiction.
This is not an aggressive rant. It's not a post to nag. It's an acknowledgement and a commitment to wanting to be here, writing, sharing, and not keeping it all inside. I'm so tired of the Instagram addiction. I'm tired of it keeping me away of what I actually love doing, what I promised myself I'll do more of: writing more, being part of a writers community.
Lately I've been spending way too much time on Instagram. I have not been even sharing much content or expressing myself, which is something I love to do. I'm just observing. I used to do that in combination with writing on Medium, or writing to my pen pal. I also used to spend more time on Medium, reading people. But lately I've just been watching people on the Gram, mindlessly, not reading them, not connecting with their words or emotions or energies. I've been scrolling through a sea of young Tiktokers having fun. And fun is nice. Fun is good — when it's bringing you value. But, it hasn't been bringing it home so much.
Small realizations. Big reminders.
As I think about this now, I've found secondhand fun to be short-lived. It's light, rather empty. If enjoyment was a wine, I'd say firsthand enjoyment is a rich full-bodied one that leaves you savoring its worth. But secondhand fun is just easy, quick to come and even quicker to go. You can gulp it away and it leaves you wanting more. It's affordable wine, consumerist even. And Instagram was becoming my easy to drink, affordable wine. And I wasn't happy with that. Deep down, I wasn't much of a drinker even.
I'm calling this a small realization because it's not new. Of course, we all know how much Instagram can be a waste of time, just like anything else that isn't actively bringing you good value. I'm not having a eureka moment, but actively reminding myself of how big of an issue this really is. Scrolling time away, day on day. I'm tired of the Instagram addiction taking away time slots of my weekend where I actually have enough mental space to write. This is a healthy reminder.
A Clap 👏 versus a Like ♥
Have you ever considered the true value of an Instagram "Like" versus a Medium "Clap"? I never thought about it thoroughly, but just this morning I logged into my Medium and found old notifications from some weeks ago. One of those was from a total stranger called Keith Chen who clapped for my story "I am part introvert. This is how my weekend feels." and I really felt so grateful that someone outside my community actually liked something personal I wrote, which implies that he must have related to it. Fair assumption? In a moment I compared that to a Like I would have received from a stranger on Instagram. I would have probably not felt as much satisfaction. It would not have fulfilled me the same way. Why? Because I am more driven to expressing in words, and there's something profound about Medium as a platform than the Reel-infused, TikTok-flooded Instagram. I feel more valued as a person when someone claps for my writings than when someone likes a photo I took. That's only because I identify more as a writer and I feel Medium is a better-suited platform for that. It's personal.
I wondered if other people were thinking about this topic and I found a nice post titled Why You Should Care About the Difference Between Claps and Likes by a relatively new Medium writer, Kaloyan Danovski. He talks about how the multiple clap feature gives a better representation of real life reactions because users can say they really liked what you have to say. Indeed, that's another reason claps are more valuable. Makes sense, I thought!
What I'm trying to say is: Being on Medium, reading and writing gives me far more rewards than Instagram does, whether I acknowledge this without assistance or whether a small clap notification brings to my attention the incremental value of post responses.
Redefining instant gratification
When I thought this morning about my dissatisfaction with my Instagram addiction, I caught myself in a moment of awareness. "Okay, maybe then go on Medium like you've been wanting to for months now?" (proud moment right here 🧚) and then I just started writing this. I did not really plan what I needed to say, I just found the words coming to me. Four scrolls down on my MacBook and here I am finalizing the last section of this post.
Sometimes writing is perceived to be arduous. I'm a marketer by profession and currently working as a project manager. Planning and thinking before creating content has become so instilled in me that I tend to shrug off writing on a whim. It's funny because I've always mostly written on a whim, and many of the things I write without pre-planning get recognized, publicly or privately. So, I'm trying to learn to stop putting too many organizational boundaries to myself. I have scribbles on my Evernote about how being a marketer has become an obstacle to the writer in me (more on that in the future). I'm happy to see that, this morning, I got over that and recognized that writing immediately will bring me more gratification than staying on Instagram (and just not writing at all). It's awesome to recognize the things you're tired of and pinpointing what to replace it with. 🙌
On a last note, I'm not saying Instagram is bad. I absolutely love Instagram! I'm just aware of the nature of my addictive behavior, its negative impact, and how and when to deal with it. One of the perks of being in a lockdown in 2020 was the way I developed my sense of awareness better. At the age of 30, I learned to tune in to what I want more often and find answers faster instead of just sitting there in total confusion. *pats shoulder*
Godspeed to all the writers out there, and to everyone who wants to do more of what they love but are stuck in loops. I see you ❤
YaraWithGlasses
